\nWhat ever happened to remorse? The dictionary tells us it means “a
\ndeep and painful feeling of sorrow or regret.” These days it seems
\nthat to feel remorse is to show weakness, to admit guilt and,
\ntherefore, to fold under pressure. It seems a better strategy to go on
\nthe defensive. Blame others. Blame society if you must but for God’s
\nsake, don’t show anyone that you’re sorry for what you did! Those with
\npower should never be remorseful.<\/p>\n
Are we to understand that saying we’re sorry is appropriate only
\nbecause it’s the correct legal or political posture? Can’t genuine
\nhuman sorrow and embarrassment be seen as a strength?<\/p>\n
William Cowper once said, “Remorse begets reform.” The Monica Lewinsky
\naffair has taught us all kinds of lessons about the way we honor an
\noffice such as the Presidency, how we respect the covenant of
\nmarriage, how we deplore the misuse of power and sexuality and how to
\naddress these problems when they arise again as no doubt they will.
\nBut I sincerely hope it has not taught us to fear remorse – for that
\nwould signal the end of reconciliation and rebirth. Hopefully, the
\nkinds of trouble we fall into will not necessitate public confessions
\non national TV but even if it’s in the quiet and safe privacy of a
\nconfessional, or simply looking into the eyes of someone we’ve
\nwronged, we grow stronger as human beings when we are able to say “I’m
\nsorry.”<\/div><\/div>\nFather Timothy Backous
\n1999<\/p>\n
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